College 101
Common App 1: Background and Identity
The Prompt
Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
The Essay
Intro
I stand behind the white line, crouching at the ready. On either side, my fellow teammates do the same, but my eyes are not on them. No, they are locked ahead, staring not at but through the opposing team, visualizing my goal. On this day, I am confident and determined, but I was not always this way.
Body
Growing up, I had trouble fitting in. Oh sure, people liked me, but I could never find one talent or interest that really grabbed me. It was not for lack of trying either. I studied hard in all my subjects but never found something to latch onto. The few real clubs my school had were similarly uninteresting, relating to political causes or Twilight book clubs.
This would leave sports—at least, it should. Unfortunately, that was always out of my reach. Football (the kind that you play with helmets) had always interested me, but shoulder pads, cleats, jerseys, and the like did not come cheap, and my mother was barely able to feed me and all my siblings, let alone guide me into some activity that in all likelihood would just leave me with broken bones.
One day, though, that all changed. I was running on a track in P.E. (my favorite "subject" if only because testing was a lot simpler) when Coach Stevens pulled me away for a brief chat.
"Michael," he told me, "I've been paying attention to your track times and I want to ask: how would you feel about joining the football team?" When I explained my financial situation, he simply leaned back, stared thoughtfully at a blank spot in the wall for a few seconds and told me not to worry about funds; so long as I promised to show up to practices on time, he would look into a law he heard about that would make sure that money was not an issue for aspiring athletes like myself.
Next thing I knew, I was spending my Saturday mornings pounding my school's modest excuse for a football field with my cleats and, occasionally, my face. But I kept with it, attending practice after practice. Much to my surprise, it turned out that I was not just good at the sport; I was great. I ran faster, threw farther, and threaded through enemy lines unlike anyone my town had seen this side of a television screen. People actually started showing up to watch our games, and some were even inspired to join the team themselves.
Most importantly, however, I discovered that I had finally found something I was passionate about. No longer was I some poor nobody who shuffled hopelessly from one class to another; now, I had a special ability—a talent. For the first time, others looked up to me and praised my accomplishments; previously, I simply thought praise was something that happened to other people. I finally knew what I wanted to do with my life, and with a new group of friends to carry me through I could become the best football player I could be. With acceptance into college with a Division I football team, though, I could go even further toward realizing my dream.
Conclusion
Six months of blood, sweat, and camaraderie later, I find myself here, in our first real match against a respectable team. Frankly, the opposition are rather intimidating—with their proper football field with goalposts and astroturf, as well as their clean, embroidered jerseys—but I know my teammates and I will do our best. If nothing else, I am grateful and proud to have made it this far.
Why This Essay Works
Sometimes what makes an applicant stand out is not what they've done but how they've arrived there. If this applicant has a shelf filled with trophies, he doesn't mention it here; instead, the focus is on how he got to the status he finds himself in, which is ultimately more revealing of the applicant's motivations and personality. The path he walked shows passion, hard work, and determination—qualities necessary for success in college, and ones not always reflected in a list of shiny knick-knacks.
The use of in medias res—that is, starting in the middle of the action, then flashing back to how he got there, a la Iron Man or Inception—allows for a gripping introduction and a memorable conclusion. Meanwhile, the body of the essay allows for the reader to get a good look at what goes on inside the applicant's head, while offering specific details about his backstory and how he came to find himself.