Affluenza

You'll note the oh-so-clever modern day mash-up of affluence and influenza, and yes, it's kind of a disease for the semi-loser children of the wealthy. Mommy and daddy were busy building billions, and unfortunately missed those fragile teen years.

Affluenza affects many families in the get-rich-quick era in which we currently live, skewing values, notions of self-worth, and all of the other trappings of easy stumbled-upon wealth. The best antidote: live on tax payer dollars and work for the government, and you'll never have this problem.