The Two Gentlemen of Verona: Act 2, Scene 5 Translation

A side-by-side translation of Act 2, Scene 5 of The Two Gentlemen of Verona from the original Shakespeare into modern English.

Original Text	Translated Text
Source: Folger Shakespeare Library
Enter Speed and Lance, with his dog, Crab.	The two servants, Speed and Lance appear on stage with Lance's dog, Crab.
SPEED Lance, by mine honesty, welcome to Padua. LANCE Forswear not thyself, sweet youth, for I am not welcome. I reckon this always: that a man is never undone till he be hanged, nor never welcome to a place till some certain shot be paid and the Hostess 5 say welcome. SPEED Come on, you madcap. I’ll to the alehouse with you presently, where, for one shot of five pence, thou shalt have five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, how did thy master part with Madam Julia? 10 LANCE Marry, after they closed in earnest, they parted very fairly in jest. SPEED But shall she marry him? LANCE No. SPEED How then? Shall he marry her? 15 LANCE No, neither. SPEED What, are they broken? LANCE No, they are both as whole as a fish. SPEED Why then, how stands the matter with them? LANCE Marry, thus: when it stands well with him, it 20 stands well with her. SPEED What an ass art thou! I understand thee not. LANCE What a block art thou that thou canst not! My staff understands me. SPEED What thou sayst? 25 LANCE Ay, and what I do too. Look thee, I’ll but lean, and my staff understands me. SPEED It stands under thee indeed. LANCE Why, “stand under” and “understand” is all one. 30 SPEED But tell me true, will ’t be a match? LANCE Ask my dog. If he say “Ay,” it will; if he say “No,” it will; if he shake his tail and say nothing, it will. SPEED The conclusion is, then, that it will. 35 LANCE Thou shalt never get such a secret from me but by a parable. SPEED ’Tis well that I get it so. But, Lance, how sayst thou that my master is become a notable lover? LANCE I never knew him otherwise. 40 SPEED Than how? LANCE A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to be. SPEED Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistak’st me. LANCE Why, fool, I meant not thee; I meant thy master. SPEED I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover. 45 LANCE Why, I tell thee, I care not though he burn himself in love. If thou wilt, go with me to the alehouse; if not, thou art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the name of a Christian. SPEED Why? 50 LANCE Because thou hast not so much charity in thee as to go to the ale with a Christian. Wilt thou go? SPEED At thy service. They exit.	Speed invites Lance to an alehouse (a bar) and then asks how things went when Proteus said goodbye to Julia. Lance says things went fine. Speed wants to know if they're going to get married. As the dialogue continues, Speed can't get a straight answer from Lance, who delivers a series of lines that are loaded with silly puns and dirty jokes. Lance announces that if Speed won't go to the alehouse with him, then Speed is a "Jew" and not a Christian. Why? Because a good Christian would never turn down a fellow Christian's invitation to have a drink. We're not sure if this is a jab at Christians for being lushes or at Jews for not going drinking with Christians.

Original Text

Translated Text

Enter Speed and Lance, with his dog, Crab.

The two servants, Speed and Lance appear on stage with Lance's dog, Crab.

SPEED Lance, by mine honesty, welcome to Padua.

LANCE Forswear not thyself, sweet youth, for I am not
welcome. I reckon this always: that a man is never
undone till he be hanged, nor never welcome to a
place till some certain shot be paid and the Hostess 5
say welcome.

SPEED Come on, you madcap. I’ll to the alehouse with
you presently, where, for one shot of five pence,
thou shalt have five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah,
how did thy master part with Madam Julia? 10

LANCE Marry, after they closed in earnest, they parted
very fairly in jest.

SPEED But shall she marry him?

LANCE No.

SPEED How then? Shall he marry her? 15

LANCE No, neither.

SPEED What, are they broken?

LANCE No, they are both as whole as a fish.

SPEED Why then, how stands the matter with them?

LANCE Marry, thus: when it stands well with him, it 20
stands well with her.

SPEED What an ass art thou! I understand thee not.

LANCE What a block art thou that thou canst not! My
staff understands me.

SPEED What thou sayst? 25

LANCE Ay, and what I do too. Look thee, I’ll but lean,
and my staff understands me.

SPEED It stands under thee indeed.

LANCE Why, “stand under” and “understand” is all
one. 30

SPEED But tell me true, will ’t be a match?

LANCE Ask my dog. If he say “Ay,” it will; if he say
“No,” it will; if he shake his tail and say nothing, it
will.

SPEED The conclusion is, then, that it will. 35

LANCE Thou shalt never get such a secret from me but
by a parable.

SPEED ’Tis well that I get it so. But, Lance, how sayst
thou that my master is become a notable lover?

LANCE I never knew him otherwise. 40

SPEED Than how?

LANCE A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to be.

SPEED Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistak’st me.

LANCE Why, fool, I meant not thee; I meant thy master.

SPEED I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover. 45

LANCE Why, I tell thee, I care not though he burn
himself in love. If thou wilt, go with me to the
alehouse; if not, thou art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not
worth the name of a Christian.

SPEED Why? 50

LANCE Because thou hast not so much charity in thee
as to go to the ale with a Christian. Wilt thou go?

SPEED At thy service.

They exit.

Speed invites Lance to an alehouse (a bar) and then asks how things went when Proteus said goodbye to Julia. Lance says things went fine. Speed wants to know if they're going to get married.

As the dialogue continues, Speed can't get a straight answer from Lance, who delivers a series of lines that are loaded with silly puns and dirty jokes.

Lance announces that if Speed won't go to the alehouse with him, then Speed is a "Jew" and not a Christian.

Why? Because a good Christian would never turn down a fellow Christian's invitation to have a drink. We're not sure if this is a jab at Christians for being lushes or at Jews for not going drinking with Christians.

The Two Gentlemen of Verona: Act 2, Scene 5 Translation

A side-by-side translation of Act 2, Scene 5 of The Two Gentlemen of Verona from the original Shakespeare into modern English.

Original Text

Translated Text

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