- Grendel explains his beef with Hrothgar. Don't expect it to be a neat explanation.
- There's lots of bad blood between these two. What you need to know now is this: Grendel has set his heart on destroying Hrothgar.
- It all starts with men behaving badly—roving bands of hunters despoiling the land, that is, senselessly killing each other and animals (and not eating any of the above).
- These roving bands of dudes talk a whole lotta smack: it's all about who they're going to kill, what they think of that guy's father, which woman they're going to steal that night—that sort of thing.
- Anglo-Saxon Moment: This kind of ritual boasting actually shows up in Beowulf. It's called a beot in Old English, and it's just how people roll in epics like this. It was all about getting your swag on and telling everybody about it back in Anglo-Saxon times. Read here.
- Anyway, Grendel watches the humans as they use up all the natural resources to arm and protect themselves.
- It's gang warfare, early medieval style.
- The images get more and more warlike: carrion birds circle, fires burn, drunken hearth companions slash at each other, blood slushes up the snow. It ain't pretty.
- Grendel keeps watch on these guys and notices some weird stuff. Humans kill their companions when they're drunk and egged on by a crowd, but then they're exiled from the community. Weird? Illogical? Maybe, but Grendel's got no complaint: he gets to eat whatever the humans leave over.
- Grendel witnesses raids on meadhalls all over the countryside. He watches as they are burned to the ground and as animals are slaughtered and left to rot.
- Grendel notices the burnt human bodies inside the ruins of the meadhalls. They look like crispy little dwarves to him. Delicious crispy little dwarves, that is.
- Grendel doesn't understand the wasteful behavior of the humans. All these tasty morsels are left behind?
- And here's the big truth: all humans care about is gold. Gold is the only thing absent from these scenes of destruction.
- But there are also certain industries that flourish during wartime. There are two important ones for Grendel: weapon- and song-making.
- Enter the Shaper, a poet who "weaves words" to tell stories about a king or clan's "glorious" past.
- This particular human will wreak total havoc on Grendel's life.
- But first, Grendel learns more about these dwellers in his backyard. He witnesses a battle. And yes, it looks really stupid through the eyes of an outsider.
- Grendel sees that humans at war become more animal-like and use language to threaten and curse rather than make songs.
- The humans also talk about things like justice, honor, lawful revenge, and all that, but in the end, they're still waving sticks at each other.
- Grendel is baffled by all the warring and capturing and ransoming. He is like an über-rational child who can't see the point of it all.
- And what does a rational person who witnesses pointless bloodshed do? He drags home the corpses for dinner, of course. Duh.
- Does Mama Grendel like this? Oh, no, she does not. Corpses rot and stink.
- Grendel eventually notices a change in the warfare machine. Kings begin to ally themselves with neighbors and stragglers to gain more manpower.
- Grendel watches Hrothgar's "organization" rise to the top of the heap.
- Who benefits from this? Hrothgar himself, of course. He believes in "working smarter, not harder," so he demands tribute from his neighbors in return for protection.
- The neighbors do not love this new situation. They steal back their gold whenever Hrothgar's carts and oxen or horses get stuck on the way home.
- Grendel can only see stupid human behavior and wastefulness: when the animals get stuck in the grass or sand, the humans whip them or leave them to die—but they always take the gold.
- Large armies are formed through this tribute system, and Hrothgar's is the best. He rarely loses a fight.
- And Hrothgar's rich. Filthy rich. He collects so much ancient bling that the meadhall becomes a giant storage shed, and the warriors have to sleep in outbuildings.
- Grendel is not impressed. He uses phrases like "overran the world" and "blistered the land" to describe Hrothgar's rise to power.
- And now it's getting personal. Hrothgar's men are all up in Grendel's grill: they eat his game, take away the forests, and set fires that burn night and day.
- Grendel hates the way the humans are destroying the natural world and its resources. He's kind of becoming a militant environmentalist. See why he hates Hrothgar? Oh, wait. There's more.
- Big trouble is coming... in the form of an innocent blind guy. A new Shaper has come to town, and he's about to play some serious mind games with Grendel's head.
- When the new Shaper strikes the lyre and begins to sing his first poem, he sings the opening lines of Beowulf. Yes, that Beowulf.
- Now, Grendel hasn't started actually started attacking Hrothgar properly yet, and Beowulf himself hasn't even been mentioned. What's happening is that the Shaper is "weaving" a new tale—and he'll keep adding to it as juicy stuff happens. So Gardner isn't just retelling the story of Beowulf from a different point of view; he's also including an account of how Beowulf might have been composed—if, you know, monsters and things like that were actually real.
- Grendel discovers that the Shaper has mad poetic skills. He says that the poet "twists words together," as if he were braiding a rope.
- The Shaper tells the story of Scyld Scefing—a glorious warrior and the founder of the Spear-Danes.
- Something bad happens to poor, seething Grendel. He begins to believe in the heroic past of the stupid humans sitting before him.
- The drunken humans think the Shaper is pretty good, too. They hoot and catcall and can't wait for more.
- And guess who's out of a job? The old Shaper has been permanently outsourced to a lesser king.
- Grendel knows that what the new Shaper has said must be a pack of lies—but such is the power of poetry.
- Grendel's sense of reality blurs. In a panic, he tries to assert what he knows to be true, but he can only think of the words of the poet, about how great Scyld was.
- Grendel cannot sift what is real from what is merely propaganda. He's one frustrated critter.
- All this makes Grendel want to scream, and he lets a scary one fly from his mouth.
- All this pent-up emotion gets Grendel in touch with his inner beast, and he high-tails it on all fours back to the mere.