Dry, Hypothetical

A legal text can’t, for the sake of tradition, be anywhere close to exciting.

It has to set out terms and conditions for a bunch of if-this-then-that situations regarding the actions allowed/forbidden. The whole act is written in a future perfect tense that drags the tone down enough to make your eyes cross and your brain hurt. It’s not like it could be any different, since Congress had to cover all the possible actions and detail either the next step or that it’s prohibited.

Section 4, for example, acknowledges that sometimes people manage to get themselves into some financial difficulties and may need a quick and easy way of paying off a debt. Think again.

And be it further enacted, That no lands acquired under the provisions of this act shall in any event become liable to the satisfaction of any debt or debts contracted prior to the issuing of the patent therefor. (Section 4)

It uses a lot of extra words to prevent anyone from attempting to wiggle out of debt by simply filing a claim.

But hey, if this is your idea of light bedtime reading, maybe we’ll see you in Congress some day.