Remember Bob Ross, with his happy trees and happy accidents? With just a little bit of paint and what looked like the greatest of ease, Bob Ross could turn an empty canvas into the most majestic landscape in the history of majestic landscapes.

Franklin D. Roosevelt was like the Bob Ross of the attack on Pearl Harbor. Except instead of happy trees and happy accidents, it was all "deliberately planned" this and "dastardly attack" that (5; 25).

We have a word for using terms like "dastardly." It's called dysphemism, and it's basically the use of harsh, negative words instead of benign or happy little ones. And FDR makes good use of dysphemism in this speech. In addition to the deliberation and dastardliness mentioned above, we've also got gems like these:

[…] the United States was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan. (1; emphasis added).

[…] the Japanese government has deliberately sought to deceive the United States by false statements and expressions of hope for continued peace. (6; emphasis added).

No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the American people in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory. (21; emphasis added).

See what we mean? No way anyone reading or listening to those words could conclude that President Roosevelt was anything other than really, really upset.

Japan, you got dysphemismed.