Whereas the Congress of the United States of America, by an Act approved March 2, 1901, provided as follows:

Provided further, That in fulfillment of the declaration contained in the joint resolution approved April twentieth, eighteen hundred and ninety-eight, entitled "For the recognition of the independence of the people of Cuba, demanding that the Government of Spain relinquish its authority and government in the island of Cuba, and withdraw its land and naval forces from Cuba and Cuban waters, and directing the President of the United States to use the land and naval forces of the United States to carry these resolutions into effect," the President is hereby authorized to "leave the government and control of the island of Cuba to its people" so soon as a government shall have been established in said island under a constitution which, either as a part thereof or in an ordinance appended thereto, shall define the future relations of the United States with Cuba, substantially as follows: (Intro)

There are 164 words in the opening chunk of the Platt Amendment. So by the "opening lines," we're really talking one gigantic chain of words that defies all of the rules you learned in middle school Language Arts.

And what a confusing intro it is. Remember that Congressional legislation doesn't work the same way as speeches—speeches need catchy hooks, flowery language, and flow. The Platt Amendment's opening line is anything but catchy and flowery. But remember, it doesn't have to be. This is a formal, official document that simply serves to describe the change that's about to happen.

Specifically, the Platt Amendment's opening line does two things:

1. References the Treaty of Paris and Teller Amendment, confirming the fact that Spain has been booted out of Cuba and that the President of the United States has the power to make sure Spain stays out.
2. Assures everyone that the U.S. will let Cuba be governed by Cuba just as soon as they add the following seven rules to their constitution.

Did that really need to take 164 words, Congress?