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Hiya…it’s your teddy bear here. [Teddy bear speaking]

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Yeah, the one you stopped sleeping with because you’re so grown up now.

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You’re not fooling anyone.

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But I know you’re here to learn about the man I’m named after, Theodore Roosevelt. [Teddy Bear in presidents office]

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Teddy was one of the United States’ iconic and most influential presidents, bringing

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the U.S. fully into the 20th century with his own unique style.

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But… let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Theodore Roosevelt, Jr. was born on October

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27, 1858 to Theodore, Sr. and Mittie Bulloch. Yeah…Mittie. Names were different back then.

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Mittie was a beautiful southern belle with delicate health, and so it fell to Theodore,

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Sr, or “Thee”, to raise young Teddy. Thee instilled in Teddy a love of physical [Theodore with Teddy]

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activity and a sense of manly duty that would stick with Teddy the rest of his life.

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This was a type of belief known as “muscular Christianity.” It’s like going to Church, [Man flexing muscles in gym]

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only the priest is screaming at you to get in one more rep, and instead of wine they

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drink a pre-workout smoothie. [Man drinking pre workout smoothie]

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Anyway, when Teddy entered Harvard, he didn’t exactly fit in with his peers.

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They drank, gambled, and did normal college-age stuff, while Teddy acted more like a stuffy,

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middle-aged man.

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Still, with Thee’s backing, Teddy felt confident and stuck with his beliefs.

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So you can imagine that Thee’s death on February 11, 1878 was a hugely traumatic experience [Theodore by casket]

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for Teddy. He was crushed. He broke up with his girlfriend, Edith Carrow, and dropped

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his moral superiority to join the Harvard social scene. Guess that’s…just the form

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his grief was taking…

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Luckily, Teddy met Alice Hathaway Lee, and their courtship and marriage helped pull him [Teddy with Alice Hathaway]

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out of his slump. Teddy returned to New York, and was elected as a state assemblyman. Yup,

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things were finally looking up…nothing could go wrong, right?

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Only…on February 14, 1883, Teddy’s mother passed away. And hours later, his wife Alice

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would die after giving birth to their daughter. Oh, and he was forced to step down as state [Alice dies and daughter appears]

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assemblyman.

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Thanks, Obama. Roosevelt was destroyed. His life was in shambles,

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and he had no idea what to do. Finally, at the age of 25, he decided to go west. [Teddy riding a horse]

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He would work on a ranch and basically be as tough and manly as possible.

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It was like group therapy, but… with cows. [Teddy with a group of cows]

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Finally, in 1885, Teddy reconnected with Edith, and the two became engaged, pulling him out

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of his funk.

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He returned to New York, and began a fight against corruption and big business that would [Teddy in New York]

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come to define his political career.

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Teddy wanted to fight for the common man, a stance that wasn’t as popular as you might imagine. [Teddy standing with common man]

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As New York City Police Commissioner, Teddy would take nighttime walks to surprise lazy

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cops and get their butts in gear.

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In the process, he encountered some of the brutal poverty in New York City, furthering

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his belief that many of society’s institutions needed fixing.

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After his calls for reform lost him favor in New York, Teddy was given the post of Assistant

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Secretary of the Navy, where he began calling for the U.S. to build its navy and assert [Teddy outside Navy ship]

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itself as a world power.

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When it became clear that war with Spain was imminent, Teddy made it known that he would

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be going to Cuba to fight. He was 40 at the time. That’s how you get your face on a mountain, kids…

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His Rough Riders cavalry regiment became the stuff of legend at the Battle of San Juan [Teddy standing with rough riders cavalry]

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Heights, even though they were only in combat for ten days. Also, we’re pretty sure he

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stole that name from DMX. Mount up!

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When Teddy returned to New York, he was greeted by cheering crowds, and easily won the governorship. [Teddy arriving into New York and crowd gathers]

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The Republican party was worried about his push for reforms, and nominated him for vice-president,

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a position without any real power. Big mistake on their part.

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In September 1901, president William McKinley was assassinated, and Teddy Roosevelt was

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sworn in as president of the United States, while the Republican establishment did a collective face-palm. [Politicians face palming]

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As president, Teddy continued fighting for the common man, supporting labor rights, breaking

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up monopolies, and pushing for business regulations.

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Another important goal for Roosevelt was the preservation of America’s natural heritage,

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and his conservation efforts are arguably the most important of any U.S. president.

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After leaving office, Teddy headed to Africa for a safari, to let off a little steam, probably... [Teddy standing by an elephant]

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When he returned home in 1910, he was shocked at the actions of his successor, William Howard Taft.

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You go away for one little safari…

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Because he was blocked from getting on the Republican ticket for president, Roosevelt

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started his own party—The Bull Moose Party.

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We told you he was awesome. Unfortunately, he was unable to win the presidency, losing [Woodrow Wilson pushes away Teddy]

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to Woodrow Wilson, a Democrat.

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It’s worth mentioning that, during his campaign, Teddy was shot in the chest, drove to his

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speaking engagement, and then spoke for over an hour. After he had been shot in the chest. [Teddy with plaster on his chest giving speech]

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Seriously. We're not kidding!

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We believe that speaks for itself. Teddy was the Man. Or…Bull Moose.

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Roosevelt died in his sleep on January 6, 1919. He is remembered as one of the four most [Teddy dead in his bed]

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influential and beloved presidents, and his face is included on the Mount Rushmore monument

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along with George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and uh…Kanye West. [Kanye Wests face appears on Mount Rushmore]

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We think.

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