Typical Day
"Ms. Schafer, please. I'm still failing to understand the relevance of the tree branch to your car," says Maggie Robinson. She's exasperated. This case is far beneath her expertise, and would go much, much faster if either party would make some semblance of a point. Things have obviously gotten personal between these two, and Maggie hates it when it's personal.
"He cut the branch off my oak," Ms. Schafer replies. Her tone, and the wideness of her eyes, screams, "How can you not understand how this is relevant?"
"It was hanging over my side of the fence," Mr. Cano snaps back. "It can't do that. That's...that's...illegal immigration!"
"Please," Maggie urges, trying to remain calm. "The car. We're here about the car. And just to set the legal record straight, a branch encroaching on your property is emphatically not illegal immigration." She looks at her watch—an hour of this already. It's hard to believe she was still warm and in bed just two hours ago. She chides herself for not getting coffee before starting. She makes a mental note: no more arbitration proceedings before 10:00AM. Or before espresso.
"The tree branch matters," Ms. Schafer says, crossing her arms. "It's character evidence."
Maggie looks down at her notes. According to the suit, Ms. Schafer claims that Mr. Cano stole her Mercedes-Benz and then totaled it. For some inexplicable reason, neither party has insurance.
"Character evidence?" Mr. Cano says. "Are you implying that I decided to maliciously drive your precious job-stealing, foreign-built car into a tree?"
"Ha. Implying? I'm outright saying it."
Mr. Cano is taken aback.
As the pair argues about something unimportant, Maggie lets her mind fall to her schedule. She has only one other arbitration scheduled today. She's trying to figure out how she'll pick up her son Lucas, who gets out of school at 3:00PM, when Ms. Schafer says something about crocodiles that breaks her train of thought.
"Alright," Maggie says. "That's enough for this morning. I urge both of you to meditate on what's relevant to your dispute before we reconvene this afternoon."
The two nod.
The group leaves and Maggie heads back to her office, a small room that's little more than a desk and a filing cabinet. She opens her laptop and begins to do some research for an upcoming arbitration on a copyright dispute. It often feels like precedent is meaningless when it comes to copyright, but she'll feel better if she at least looks for some.
Her search comes up dry, and she heads into her next arbitration. It's the final session of an easy dispute and both parties seemed pleased by her judgment. Like many who see her, they're always happy when the proceedings are finally over. Even if they lose, it's nice to focus their time and energy elsewhere again.
After the second arbitration, she stops by the small court cafeteria for lunch before heading back to room B-54, where Mr. Cano and Ms. Schafer are waiting and probably already squabbling.
"I'm going to ask some questions," Maggie says, the moment they're all seated. "And I need clear, relevant, on-point answers."
The two shrug, but seem to agree.
"Mr. Cano," Maggie says calmly, picking up where they left off. "Why were you in her car?"
"She left that dumb car parked in the street, in front of my driveway," he says. "I couldn't pull my car out past it. I waited half an hour, but she never arrived to move it."
"And how did you drive the car?" Maggie asks.
"With my hand—"
"Let me stop you right there. You must know that I meant: how did you turn the car on?"
"It was running."
"The whole time?"
"I can only assume. The key was in there when I checked on the car."
Maggie starts to drop her forehead into an open palm, but decides against it. She knows it's important to always act professionally, even in the strangest of cases.
"Is this true?" she asks Ms. Schafer.
"Probably," she grunts. "Yes. Fine. I was going to the store to pick up cat food when I realized I'd left the old bag inside. I wanted to make sure I got the right brand."
"And you were in there for half an hour looking for the bag?"
"Oh, who knows? I decided to take a nap."
"With your car turned on and stopped in the middle of the road?"
At that, she shrugs. Maggie fights the urge to rule that both parties award her $10,000 for making her put up with this.
"You see?" Mr. Cano says. "I had to move it."
"And where do you live?" Maggie asks him.
"Next door."
"And somehow you managed to total Ms. Schafer's car in, what, twenty feet of driving? How'd you even reach the speed required to—"
"Her accelerator is sensitive. I just meant to tap it, but the whole thing hit the floor," he says defensively. "I wasn't expecting the speed, and must have jerked the wheel in panic when it happened."
"It's a pedal extender," Ms. Schafer says. "What? I have short legs."
"Okay, I think I understand," Maggie says. "And here's my decision. Mr. Cano, you entered a vehicle that did not belong to you and proceeded to operate it without permission. I'm not a criminal lawyer, but I'm comfortable telling you that such actions can constitute theft."
"Theft, you hear that?" Ms. Schafer says. "I should bring charges against—"
"However," Maggie continues, "I doubt Ms. Schafer will bring charges considering her illegal parking, and illegal lack of insurance." That quiets Ms. Shafer down. "Mr. Cano, you will pay Ms. Schafer the full amount listed on Ms. Shafer's repair quote."
"But I—"
"You can, however, appeal the cost by providing her with a different, but equally comprehensive quote. Regardless, you will pay the minimum amount required to return Ms. Schafer's car to its pre-accident state."
Ms. Schafer fist pumps while Mr. Cano rises angrily from his small metal chair. Maggie fist pumps too, but on the inside. This arbitration is finally over.
She leaves without saying more to either of them, rushing immediately out to the parking lot. She makes it to her son Lucas's school right before 3:00PM, just in time to pick him up. They spend the rest of the day together working on his homework, playing video games, and watching TV.
By the time she gets him to bed at 9:30PM, she's remembered why she left lawyering for arbitration. Even if the clients were just Mr. Cano and Ms. Schafer, over and over again until her actual retirement, it'd still be worth it.
Maggie turns off the light in Lucas' room and quietly moves to the living room, where she reads a book until falling asleep on the couch.