Hollywood Careers

Emmy P. Thespian III steps off the bus on the corner of Sunset and Vine in the middle of Hollywood, CA. She still has stars in her eyes, and way too much makeup surrounding them. She’s here at last, ready to make her childhood dream a reality, and all that stands in her way are…a few million people with the same dream. Whoops.

Okay, the sheer number of competitors is not all that stands in her way. Here are a few other nifty obstacles in her path:

• A rapidly declining film industry. Back in 1997, there were around 140,000 TV production jobs in LA County. Lately it’s hovering around the 110,000 mark. So…trending down, you might say. Everyone’s fleeing to states that are offering production tax incentives and cash rebates – states like New York, Louisiana, and Georgia. Okay, so maybe more of the actors in their sci-fi movies will be speaking with a southern drawl, but a producer who’s saving millions by shooting in N’awlins isn’t going to lose too much sleep over it.

• The pressure to make ends meet. When exactly is Emmy supposed to audition? On the way from her waitressing job at the Cheesecake Factory to her part-time dog-walking gig? How’s she supposed to pay for classes, workshops, or even mailing materials for her headshots (which she’ll have to pay for, too) when she’s just barely scraping together enough to cover rent on the studio apartment she’s sharing with two friends?

• The lure of a steady paycheck. Emmy will meet other people in LA who don’t have crazy dreams of being an actor. They’ll work in offices, or behind-the-scenes in studios…and they’ll earn steady paychecks. None of them will be making Angelina Jolie money…but then, neither will someone like Emmy, 999,999 times out of a million.

• Depression. Oh, yeah. It’s sure to set in once she’s been to her 400th audition, gotten her 22nd callback, and booked her first job – a one-liner in a toothpaste commercial that doesn’t come close to paying for the therapy sessions that have gotten her there. Especially not after she has deducted agent’s fees, manager’s fees and taxes. In fact, she’ll be lucky if she can even afford a tube of the very toothpaste she’s peddling.

Of course, acting isn’t the only gig in Hollywood, thank goodness. Perhaps you want to be the next Spielberg (he’s this director guy who’s done okay for himself), or you want to be a big shot producer, or maybe you’d just be happy holding up a boom mic on a film set so you can be a part of things. Great…except things aren’t that much more secure or lucrative for anyone else in the industry. Those lower on the totem pole simply don’t make much scratch, while those higher on the totem pole…are scratching themselves silly. But there are just fewer of them. Meaning…you probably won’t be one of them. And, in all reality, the guys who end up working in production didn’t just fall into it after failing at something else. They went to a real, honest-to-goodness film school.

But okay, so…you think you’re a smart cookie. You know it’s a tough business, but you don’t care. But the first question you should be asking yourself isn’t “Will I succeed?” but instead “What the heck is success?”

Is it owning that 5 million dollar estate with the swimming pool shaped like a dollar sign? Is it creating art that will outlive you? Is it making your friends and family proud of you? Is it being able to support your friends and family? Or is it just being able to know that you gave it your best shot and didn’t give up on your dreams? (As admirable as it sounds, this last one doesn’t pay very well, by the way.)

If you’re an actor who's in it for the money or fame, you’re in it for the wrong reasons. Not only because the pursuit of fame is a shallow one (which it is), but because you’re setting yourself up for failure. Hardly any Hollywood actors make enough money from acting to earn a living, let alone enough to buy a 3,000-square-foot Mexican villa as their vacation home. If you’re interested in producing or becoming an agent, your goals of financial success would certainly be more attainable, but there are no “gimmes” in this town. Especially these days. Be ready to kiss plenty of tuches.

Plain and simple: the TV and movie business is not healthy. It’s not quite in a coma, but it’s been ordered to get plenty of bed rest and its vitals are a little shaky.

What happened to all of the old glamor and grandeur? When did Hollywood go from being such an icon of prosperity to such a symbol of deterioration? And no, Vanessa Redgrave can’t be blamed for this one.

An old Hollywood existed in the 1960s. The former studio system was more or less in place, and making movies was a low union involvement growth industry. Then the industry matured and fragmented and unionized, and margins evaporated when the back-end (including the residual profits from the sales of reruns) died; i.e. reruns ended up not being worth much anymore and DVDs took a dive because along came the internet, Netflix, piracy, etc.

Today, studios are losing money on virtually every picture, and some of them are being forced to close their doors (for good – not just at 5 pm on Fridays). The film production division makes almost no money… like, ever, yet it ties up $3 billion in capital. At 10% cost of capital, that’s $300 million a year that they could be making on their money if they just shuttered it and took the number of studios from five to four… which might just happen in the next five years or so. In fact, it’s how contracts are being written nowadays – so there are no contingent liabilities for after the shoot hits the fan.

It’s very sad, and very…over.

Welcome to Hollywood, baby!

Careers In This Field