Qualifications
Don't think that just wearing suits and dropping Latin phrases like de minimis and honorificabilitudinitatibus will make you a lawyer. Lawyers have to gestate and be probed for seven years to be conceived.
They have to go to college for four years, take the LSAT, spend three years in law school, pass the Multistate Professional Responsibility Examination, submit everything down to their bra size for a character fitness evaluation by the jurisdiction you want to practice in, and then pass that jurisdiction's bar exam. Unfortunately, love for lawyers is anything but unconditional (source).