Typical Day
Harry Hormone, MD, begins his day at 6am with an antioxidant rich protein shake to stabilize his blood sugar. He then revs up his metabolism with a brisk 45-minute run through the factory district of his neighborhood. The place has been shut down for some time, but Harry knows his way through an opening in the gates. He enjoys running in the wide-open space and balancing his body, mind, and spirit, in preparation for the long day ahead.
Back at home, Harry showers, changes, and grabs his custom-made purple lab coat. He feels the quirky color lightens people's moods and puts them at ease, giving him an advantage when he has to treat nervous new patients.
At 8:30, Harry says goodbye to his family, asking his wife to do some research for the family vacation next month. Harry intends to take a couple of weeks off, and his kids couldn’t be more thrilled about the plan to tour theme parks throughout the country. His wife is a little less pleased, as she wanted to go to the south of France. Maybe they can reach a compromise. Harry hopes so—he loves when things balance out.
When he first gets into the office, Dr. Hormone (his formal name at work) checks in with the head nurse, who gives him the scoop on the patients he has scheduled today. It's a light load, only 30 patients, all with a variety of glandular and metabolic issues. Dr. Hormone specializes in treating thyroid conditions and diabetes, although he has a few teens with pituitary problems on today's docket as well.
His first new patient of the day, Violetta Bowriggard, is a young girl with a weight problem. The results of her blood work indicate to Dr. Hormone that her thyroid glands are not producing enough hormones to keep her metabolism speeding along. Dr. Hormone suspects that the goiter in Violetta's neck may have something to do with her weight issue.
He sends out for some additional testing, and after carefully reviewing the results, Dr. Hormone determines that Violetta suffers from hypothyroidism caused by Hashimoto's Disease, not to be confused with Quasimodo's issues. He prescribes Violetta some medication to calm her angry pituitary gland and hopefully lower her TSH levels quickly, reducing the size of the goiter in her neck.
The next patient, Veronica Pepper, is skinny, hyper, and has a bit of an attitude issue. Dr. Hormone has seen his share of prima donna patients before, but Veronica Pepper takes the cake. She whines from the minute he starts examining her about how she wants her problem fixed now. She claims she's running late for a livestock auction, and that there's some goose that lays golden eggs that she simply must bid on.
Dr. Hormone wonders if perhaps he should refer her to his psychologist colleague, Dr. Lou Pa, and be done with it. However, after looking at her lab results he finds that she has an issue with her thyroid gland that's causing hyperthyroidism, which might account for the impatience and anxious attitude. He writes her a prescription for something to lower her thyroid levels and sends her on her way.
The rest of Dr. Hormone's day is about the same, moving from patient to patient. He's just about done for the day, when he meets with his most famous patient, TV star Mike Mallomar. Mike's a diabetic teen who's also trying to overcome a growth issue. Luckily Dr. Hormone is equipped to handle both issues, although he's got to treat them separately. The current treatment plan has Mike taking insulin to help control his diabetes, and growth hormone shots to help him grow. Mike has been a patient of Dr. Hormone's since grade school, way before his success as a Hollywood heartthrob. While Mike's still on the small side—5 feet, 6 inches—Hollywood can be especially forgiving for short, cute actors with good hair.
Dr. Hormone carefully reviews Mike's lab results, all of which look good, and he physically checks for complications from the unstable blood sugar issues from diabetes. He's on the lookout for things like bruising, open wounds on the feet that won't heal, circulation problems, and eyesight issues. Mike has none of these, so Dr. Hormone gives him a clean bill of health until the next check-up. He also informs Mike that he can stop taking the growth hormone shots, as his bone age X-ray has shown he's as tall as he's going to get, medicine or not.
Mike is happy to ditch the growth hormone shots; however, he's bummed that he's not going to at least make it to the magic 5'7" club with Tom Cruise, Josh Hutcherson, and Robert Downey, Jr. Oh well, at least he's taller than Daniel Radcliffe, he thinks.
At 5pm, Dr. Hormone packs in his stethoscope, waves a cheerful goodbye to his staff and heads home for a lovely dinner with his wife and kids. He hopes his wife's made her famous chicken mole, as he has a hankering for chocolate all of a sudden.