You're a jaded, burnt-out alcoholic about to lose his license, but you still look great in that suit.

You and your brother run a small, family-owned and operated funeral home near L.A. You have some money troubles and your family is completely dysfunctional. HBO should really base a show around you guys.

You're a long-established funeral director, but you're stuck in your old ways and haven't changed with the times to offer some of the services others do. Like showing holographic images of the deceased's disembodied head during viewings.

You were a star student in school and are now translating that success to the business. Your new funeral home is really driving in a lot of business. And you thought this killer bee infestation would be a bad thing.

You live and work in Hollywood and have gotten a reputation as someone who can make the deceased look exactly like various celebrities. That goes over pretty well.