Bell Curve

Bell Curve

1
5%

Instead of sitting around and watching Judge Maury, you head over to your daughter's preschool and help the teacher pass out sporks. Worm your way into a part-time, minimum wage job. Get home in time to watch Misdemeanor Court.

2
25%

Yay, you're in! You're a full-fledged preschool teacher. You make less than your students' parents, but you get to play with their kids all day. And some of them are a hoot. That little Tudor can really swing a Wiffle bat.

3
50%

You've been at it for a decade and you love it. You're making enough to get by, about $30,000. You've got an older car, but you get summers off.

4
75%

You go back to school to pursue special education training and get hired to work with kids throughout the school district.

5
95%

You've discovered that apples are at the core of the autism epidemic. Your new diagnostic tool, WORM, is detecting autism sooner than ever. You go on Dr. Oz. You write some books on your new Apple iPad and open a new brand of daycare centers all over the world. The children are still the best part of the job.