Typical Day
5:00AM: Principal Willie Getz Deetension wakes up, eats a healthy breakfast, reads the paper, and gets dressed for another day of school.
6:00AM: He kisses his wife and kids goodbye for the day and heads out.
6:15AM: In the car and on the way to school, Principal D mentally prepares for his morning. A parent had called late yesterday and demanded to speak with him. Apparently her daughter's English teacher called the kid a "dunce" in her feedback on an assignment, and the parent wants an apology for her daughter. He's always apologizing for other people.
Principal D pulls into the lot at school and calls the angry mom from the warmth of his car. He assures her that while he certainly doesn't condone that sort of behavior, he must speak with the teacher to get the story straight. He promises to call the mother back later.
7:00AM: Principal D walks in the door and is greeted by his assistant. He plops into the leather chair in his office and tells his personal assistant to summon the English teacher for a meeting. He used his PA system to contact his PA. He always loved doing that.
While he waits for the teacher, Principal D spends the next fifteen minutes answering emails and going over his schedule for the long day ahead.
7:15AM: The custodial director pops into Principal D's office to warn him about a plumbing problem in one of the girls' bathrooms that is going to require some extensive repairs. Someone's been flushing pinecones again. Why even?
Principal D authorizes the money needed to hire some help to fix the plumbing leak, even though he's not sure where he's going to get this money from with the already overextended budget.
7:30AM: The English teacher walks into Principal D's office. She denies leaving cruel notes on the assignment, and claims the kid has always been a trouble-maker in class. Principal D sighs wearily, and says he'll handle the matter. He still asks the teacher to be more encouraging with her feedback to students.
And eventually they were all gone. So peaceful.
8:00AM: Principal D greets the kids coming to school and walks the halls, making sure that everyone gets to class on time. He even personally helps Jimmy, who was still in his PJ top and can never remember where his first class is.
8:30AM: Principal D turns on the loudspeaker and gives the morning announcements. He always liked this part of the day. His voice sounded huge and important. He sometimes pretended he was the President. His JFK impression wasn't too shabby.
9:30AM: There's a budget meeting over at the district office. The meeting is long...like long, long. Principal D is told that he has to cut his school's budget by 25%—which means he won't be able to replace the broken iMacs in the computer lab any time soon. He dreads having to break the news to the teachers. They've been flooding his inbox recently with requests for updated technology.
11:30AM: He returns to school to find that the parent from the morning is still upset. Principal D calls her back and assures her that her daughter's feelings are being taken care of and that he will keep a close watch on the situation.
12:00PM: Time for lunch. Principal D walks around the school cafeteria, chatting with students and making sure everyone stays in line. There hasn't been an issue since the great spaghetti fight of 2012, and he was proud of it.
1:15PM: Upon returning to his office, Principal D finds two students sitting outside his door. His assistant informs him that the students got into a little fight at lunch. Principal D calls each student into his office and has his assistant call their parents. He decides to give the students a warning, but assures them they will be suspended should it happen again.
2:00PM: He drops into several classrooms and observes some teachers. He liked popping in suddenly to surprise them, but reminded himself that he had to stop swinging the door open wildly. He'd accidentally smashed Mrs. Grumbly in the temple a couple of months ago.
3:00PM: The custodian checks back in to update Principal D about the issue in the girls' bathroom. He asks Principal D to make an announcement about the bathroom being closed for repairs and to direct students to the other bathrooms on campus. What is it about those pinecones? It really bothered him.
3:30PM: Although the final bell has rung and the students have all left for the day, Principal D remains. The school is considering adding a Chinese language class, and he's interviewing several candidates.
4:00PM: He grabs a quick bite to eat before meeting with an upset parent whose kid has been cyber-bullied. Principal D goes over the particulars of the story and vows to get to the bottom of things. Things were much simpler when there weren't computers, emptying his budget and disguising the troublemakers.
4:30PM: With half an hour of free time, Principal D does his best to make a dent in his emails. He does not succeed. Instead he shoots digital birds at pigs. He needs a little time to unwind right?
5:00PM: Principal D meets with the district nurse to discuss the protocols involved in the measles epidemic in neighboring towns. He seriously hopes it doesn't hit his school. He's kind of a germaphobe.
6:00PM: He makes his way to the auditorium, where the school's seasonal concert is taking place. He hops on stage, thanks people for coming, and tells the crowd how proud he is of the students and teachers involved with the concert. He then sits in the back for the next two hours, pinching himself to stay awake.
8:00PM: Exhausted after another long day, Principal D gets into his car and begins the drive home.
9:00PM: He enters the house, briefly chats with his family about their day, and inhales dinner. He then coughs uncontrollably. He really needs to stop doing that.