It turns out humans can't survive on a diet strictly of tea leaves. Lesson learned. Unfortunately, you learned your lesson just a little too late. You were overthrown by your tea-picking, tea-leaf-eating workers. Oops. Maybe you can get a job picking tea somewhere else?

Severe drought kills off all your crops for a season. That's okay. You're 100 percent sure they'll grow back.... On second thought, make that 75 percent.

The tea from your plantation alone keeps all the people in the local town well caffeinated. Unfortunately, the medical clinic at your plantation keeps none of the workers well cared for.

You just signed a multi-billion-dollar contract with Unilever for a new line of tea bags marketed toward tweens. And you get your face on the box. Neat.

As the new CEO of Starbucks, your first executive order is to discontinue all coffee. Goodbye dark roast, hello Shaken Iced Passion Manic Mango Tango Bongo Wongo Tea. The more adjectives, the merrier.