How we cite our quotes: Citations follow this format: (Chapter.Paragraph)
Quote #4
"Then, my dear Gwendolen, I have nothing further to say than this: you hold your fortune in your own hands—a fortune such as rarely happens to a girl in your circumstances—a fortune in fact which almost takes the question out of the range of mere personal feeling, and makes your acceptance of it a duty. If Providence offers you power and position—especially when unclogged by any conditions that are repugnant to you—your course is one of responsibility, into which caprice must not enter. […] And I must point out to you that in case Mr. Grandcourt were repelled without your having refused him—without your having intended ultimately to refuse him—without your having intended ultimately to refuse him, your situation would be a humiliating and painful one. I, for my part, should regard you with severe disapprobation, as the victim of nothing else than your own coquetry and folly." (13.97)
Well, that's helpful. Gwendolen's uncle is like, "Hey, it's up to you, but I'll think you're stupid and ungrateful if you don't make what I think is the right decision."
Quote #5
"I am very sorry to cause you annoyance, mamma, dear, but I can't help it," said Gwendolen, with still harder resistance in her tone. "Whatever you or my uncle may think or do, I shall not alter my resolve, and I shall not tell my reason. I don't care what comes of it. I don't care if I never marry any one. There is nothing worth caring for. I believe all men are bad, and I hate them."
"But need you set off in this way, Gwendolen?" said Mrs. Davilow, miserable and helpless.
"Now, mamma, don't interfere with me. If you have ever had any trouble in your own life, remember it and don't interfere with me. If I am to be miserable, let it be by my own choice." (14.76-78)
Gwendolen pretty much spells it out for her mom: she doesn't want to marry Grandcourt, no matter what anyone says. If she's unhappy, at least it was her own choice.
Quote #6
"Now, now now!—don't cry"—Gwendolen, holding her mamma's head with both hands, kissed the trembling eyelids. "But mind you don't contradict me or put hindrances in my way. I must decide for myself. I cannot be dictated to by my uncle or any one else. My life is my own affair. And I think"—here her tone took on an edge of scorn—"I think I can do better for you than let you live in Sawyer's Cottage." (21.51)
Here's another example of Gwendolen's great back-and-forth debate over what to do. Just as she said it was up to her whether or not to marry Grandcourt, she also realizes that she has a choice as to whether or not her family should live in poverty. (Of course, getting out of poverty means marrying Grandcourt. Decisions, decisions…)