Enter old Polonius with his man Reynaldo. POLONIUS
Give him this money and these notes, Reynaldo. REYNALDO I will, my lord. POLONIUS
You shall do marvelous wisely, good Reynaldo,
Before you visit him, to make inquire
Of his behavior. 5 REYNALDO My lord, I did intend it. POLONIUS
Marry, well said, very well said. Look you, sir,
Inquire me first what Danskers are in Paris;
And how, and who, what means, and where they
keep, 10
What company, at what expense; and finding
By this encompassment and drift of question
That they do know my son, come you more nearer
Than your particular demands will touch it.
Take you, as ’twere, some distant knowledge of him, 15
As thus: “I know his father and his friends
And, in part, him.” Do you mark this, Reynaldo? REYNALDO Ay, very well, my lord. POLONIUS
“And, in part, him, but,” you may say, “not well.
But if ’t be he I mean, he’s very wild, 20
Addicted so and so.” And there put on him
What forgeries you please—marry, none so rank
As may dishonor him, take heed of that,
But, sir, such wanton, wild, and usual slips
As are companions noted and most known 25
To youth and liberty. REYNALDO As gaming, my lord. POLONIUS Ay, or drinking, fencing, swearing,
Quarreling, drabbing—you may go so far. REYNALDO My lord, that would dishonor him. 30 | It's several weeks later. Shoot! Did we miss all the awesome avenging action? No, we have not missed the avenging action. Literally nothing has happened. Well, nothing vengeful, anyway. Polonius gives a guy named Reynaldo a bunch of money and tells him to take the cash to his son, Laertes, who we all remember is studying in France. But, Polonius says, be sure to spy on Laertes a bunch first. Specifically, he wants Reynaldo to talk to people and imply that Laertes is into gambling and drinking and all sorts of risky behavior. Reynaldo isn't so sure this is a good idea. He doesn't want to damage Laertes's reputation. |
POLONIUS
Faith, no, as you may season it in the charge.
You must not put another scandal on him
That he is open to incontinency;
That’s not my meaning. But breathe his faults so
quaintly 35
That they may seem the taints of liberty,
The flash and outbreak of a fiery mind,
A savageness in unreclaimèd blood,
Of general assault. REYNALDO But, my good lord— 40 POLONIUS Wherefore should you do this? REYNALDO Ay, my lord, I would know that. POLONIUS Marry, sir, here’s my drift,
And I believe it is a fetch of wit.
You, laying these slight sullies on my son, 45
As ’twere a thing a little soiled i’ th’ working,
Mark you, your party in converse, him you would
sound,
Having ever seen in the prenominate crimes
The youth you breathe of guilty, be assured 50
He closes with you in this consequence:
“Good sir,” or so, or “friend,” or “gentleman,”
According to the phrase or the addition
Of man and country— REYNALDO Very good, my lord. 55 POLONIUS And then, sir, does he this, he does—what
was I about to say? By the Mass, I was about to say
something. Where did I leave? REYNALDO At “closes in the consequence,” at “friend,
or so,” and “gentleman.” 60 POLONIUS
At “closes in the consequence”—ay, marry—
He closes thus: “I know the gentleman.
I saw him yesterday,” or “th’ other day”
(Or then, or then, with such or such), “and as you
say, 65
There was he gaming, there o’ertook in ’s rouse,
There falling out at tennis”; or perchance
“I saw him enter such a house of sale”—
Videlicet, a brothel—or so forth. See you now
Your bait of falsehood take this carp of truth; 70
And thus do we of wisdom and of reach,
With windlasses and with assays of bias,
By indirections find directions out.
So by my former lecture and advice
Shall you my son. You have me, have you not? 75 REYNALDO
My lord, I have. | Polonius tells Reynaldo he's got it wrong. Polonius doesn't want him to scandalize Laertes. He just wants him to get people relaxed enough to talk honestly about him. If Reynaldo implies that he already knows about Laertes's faults (like maybe being a a bit of a drinker or gambler or a guy who goes to brothels on the regular), people will be more likely to say, "Oh, yeah. You're right. I saw him in the casino yesterday, and yeah, he does love to bet on roulette." Um...okay. That's one way to find out how you're kid is doing at college. |
POLONIUS God be wi’ you. Fare you well. REYNALDO Good my lord. POLONIUS
Observe his inclination in yourself. REYNALDO I shall, my lord. 80 POLONIUS And let him ply his music. REYNALDO Well, my lord. POLONIUS
Farewell. Reynaldo exits. Enter Ophelia. How now, Ophelia, what’s the matter? OPHELIA
O, my lord, my lord, I have been so affrighted! 85 POLONIUS With what, i’ th’ name of God? | Polonius dismisses Reynaldo. As Reynaldo exits, Ophelia enters, all shook up about something. Polonius wants to know what has her so "affrigthed." |
OPHELIA
My lord, as I was sewing in my closet,
Lord Hamlet, with his doublet all unbraced,
No hat upon his head, his stockings fouled,
Ungartered, and down-gyvèd to his ankle, 90
Pale as his shirt, his knees knocking each other,
And with a look so piteous in purport
As if he had been loosèd out of hell
To speak of horrors—he comes before me. POLONIUS
Mad for thy love? 95 OPHELIA My lord, I do not know,
But truly I do fear it. POLONIUS What said he? | Apparently, Hamlet burst into Ophelia's room while she was sewing. She says Hamlet looked terrible, all pale and wobbly-kneed and disheveled, with his shirt hanging open and his stockings bunched up at his ankles. |
OPHELIA
He took me by the wrist and held me hard.
Then goes he to the length of all his arm, 100
And, with his other hand thus o’er his brow,
He falls to such perusal of my face
As he would draw it. Long stayed he so.
At last, a little shaking of mine arm,
And thrice his head thus waving up and down, 105
He raised a sigh so piteous and profound
As it did seem to shatter all his bulk
And end his being. That done, he lets me go,
And, with his head over his shoulder turned,
He seemed to find his way without his eyes, 110
For out o’ doors he went without their helps
And to the last bended their light on me. | While in her room, Hamlet grabbed Ophelia by the wrist and sighed for about five minutes. Then he finally made his way out the door without ever taking his eyes off of her. |
POLONIUS
Come, go with me. I will go seek the King.
This is the very ecstasy of love,
Whose violent property fordoes itself 115
And leads the will to desperate undertakings
As oft as any passions under heaven
That does afflict our natures. I am sorry.
What, have you given him any hard words of late? OPHELIA
No, my good lord, but as you did command 120
I did repel his letters and denied
His access to me. POLONIUS That hath made him mad.
I am sorry that with better heed and judgment
I had not coted him. I feared he did but trifle 125
And meant to wrack thee. But beshrew my jealousy!
By heaven, it is as proper to our age
To cast beyond ourselves in our opinions
As it is common for the younger sort
To lack discretion. Come, go we to the King. 130
This must be known, which, being kept close, might
move
More grief to hide than hate to utter love.
Come. They exit. | Ophelia assures her father that she hasn't said anything extra mean to Hamlet lately. She just followed her dad's orders to keep her distance from Hamlet and not accept anymore of his love letters. Polonius says, "Oops. I thought he was just messing around, but it sounds like he's really in love with you." He and Ophelia exit to tell the King all about the situation. Surely, he'll know what to do. (Seriously? Claudius has been king for like ten minutes. And only because he married his dead brother's wife. We're not sure that's the guy anyone should go to for relationship advice.) |