Odysseus (Ulysses)'s Conversations

Odysseus (Ulysses)'s Conversations

Wall

Calypso

I still miss you, Odysseus.

Penelope

Back off my man, you tart.

Calypso

He always thought I was the most beautiful woman he'd been with. He told me so. Didn't you, Odysseus?

Whatever Calypso, we all know that distinction belongs to yours truly.

Calypso

I doubt that, you ugly old witch.

Penelope

Who did he come home to? Huh?! Who?!

Ladies... ladies... can we not have this discussion on my wall?

Penelope

No, I want everybody to know once and for all. Who do you really love?

You... of course! You!

Calypso

Seven years together, Odysseus. Didn't it mean anything to you?

I should've turned you into a pig and had a barbecue.

Penelope

You're still sleeping in the courtyard tonight.

Somehow the Underworld seemed a lot more exciting when I visited it while I was alive.

If you don't like it, you can go back to the land of the living!

Umm... Okay.

Atropos

Absolutely not.

I was speaking rhetorically.

Thought of a great new party game: Pin the Spear on the Cyclops's Face.

Polyphemus

That's not funny.

I love it. Let's play it at Helen and Menelaus's party Friday night

Yay!

A little crude... but okay.

Polyphemus

If you were all still alive, I swear by Poseidon I would find a way to eat you.

Playing chess with my great grandfather, Hermes, tonight.

Penelope

I'll hide the good silverware.

LOL.

Thinking about going on a little cruise down the River Acheron this evening.

Stay off my river, you young whipper snapper!

Oh, what's the harm?

Penelope

Please don't do it, Odysseus. I probably won't see you again for twenty years.

It's a river. How lost could I get?

Penelope

Odysseus, I love you. You're brilliant. But you're obviously not the best navigator there ever was.