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Wadjet's Conversations

Wadjet's Conversations

Wall

Nekhbet

Hey, Wadj. Let's go hunt down some Pharaoh-haters later. Deal?

Wadjet

Only if I can wear my latest skin. It's emerald—pretty expensive.

Hathor

likes this.

Thutmose III

I'm headed to meet with the enemies of Egypt today. Can I trust you to protect me?

Wadjet

Of course. Or else I'm fired. And in today's economy, I can't afford to be out of a job.

Ra

Where are you?! I can't see!

Wadjet

I'm right here, Ra. Can you feel my tail brushing your cheek?

Ra

Wadjet, I can't see! You're the Eye of Ra; help me out, please.

Wadjet

I just moved a foot to the left. Can you see now?

Ra

Yes, I can. Phew. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to play Donkey Kong with Horus later otherwise.

Wadjet

Sunning myself on the banks of the Nile. No sunscreen here!

Wadjet

My jaw is killing me!

Osiris

What's wrong? Do you have a few cavities or something?

Wadjet

No. I think I might've just unhinged it a bit too far when I was eating that last antelope.

Ramses III

Wadjet, I'm really freaked out. Apparently, there was a conspiracy among my wives to kill me and put my son on the throne. Aren't you supposed to protect me?

Wadjet

It's kinda hard to do when no one bothered to tell me about it. You have to put your crown on—since I'm on your crown as the uraeus, Your Majesty—and face the problems.

Horus

Yeah, stop being such a wuss. They're just women.

Wadjet

I object to that, Horus.

Hathor

likes this.

Mut

likes this.

Hatshepsut

likes this.

Thoth

Wadjet! How dare you bite me, thinking I'm just your average bird? I'm the god of wisdom!

Wadjet

Sorry about that! But, then again, if you're the god of wisdom, couldn't you have seen that coming?

Isis

Wadjet. Ha. Your name sounds like "wedgie."

Wadjet

Real mature, Isis. Your name sounds like "I-sissy." So there!

Wadjet

I'm going to the beach tomorrow. Anyone game to come with?

Horus

I'd love to, but I'm doing some hawk-y things.

Hathor

I'm in, but I'm only coming if I can wear my new Gucci bikini.

Khonsu

likes this.

Hattusili III

Hey, Wadjet. I'm the king of the Hittites. You know, Egypt's enemies for generations? The one you guys fought to a stalemate at the Battle of Kadesh?

Wadjet

We've met. I was the one hissing at you when you and the Pharaoh met. What do you want?

Hattusili III

As you may or may not know, the Pharaoh and I are meeting again tomorrow to conclude a peace treaty. I was wondering if you might be able to promise you won't attack me while we're there.

Wadjet

I can, but only on the condition that you feed me mice for the next 300 years.

Hattusili III

Done.

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