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Writing Assessment Videos 132 videos

TSI Writing: Revising a Letter by Adding Transitions
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ACT English 1.3 Organization 283 Views


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Description:

ACT English: Organization Drill 1, Problem 3. Can you find the correct transition?

Language:
English Language

Transcript

00:04

Here's your Shmoop du jour, brought to you by first place. Or, as we like to look at

00:08

it, last loser.

00:13

What should replace the underlined portion below, if anything?

00:17

She was still quite upset, while she had won first prize.

00:30

This relationship is basically the opposite of cause-and-effect: something happened even

00:36

though something else happened.

00:38

So we're looking for the transition that helps get across the idea that something a bit surprising

00:43

happened.

00:45

(A) is incorrect because "while" signals that two events happened simultaneously.

00:50

"Had won" is in the past perfect tense, which indicates that something happened in the past

00:56

before something else did...(there was a whole time sequence there)...

01:00

...and which means that the events in question couldn't be happening simultaneously. "While"

01:05

is all kinds of wrong. That is, unless some kind of multi-dimensional

01:09

time warp is occurring. Seems highly unlikely unless you're playing with the "Big Bang" guys.

01:16

(B) is incorrect because "unless" sets up a conditional relationship.

01:21

As we said before, this sentence isn't trying to show how one thing is caused by another

01:24

thing.

01:25

Wording like, "She knew she was going to be upset unless she won first prize," would make

01:32

sense, but it's unfortunately not an option here.

01:35

Our girl is upset even though she won, so choice (B) is nixed.

01:40

(C) is incorrect because "whether" is usually used to state alternative possibilities.

01:45

"She was upset because she didn't know whether or not she'd won first prize," would be an

01:52

example.

01:52

In the sentence at hand, however, we know that she definitely won first prize and was

01:57

definitely upset. There are no variables here, making (C) a no-go.

02:02

Choice (D) is what we've been looking for.

02:04

The transition word "although" correctly establishes the contrast between the two ideas, and we're

02:10

left to wonder why this girl would be upset, despite the fact that she won.

02:14

Somebody should tell her there's nothing worse than a sore winner.

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