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Beowulf- a la shmoop you know him you love him

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now put your hands together for the most epic hero the world has ever seen. we're [man in boxing ring]

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talking about Beowulf. sorry sometimes I get carried away here.

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but seriously I'm amazing all those Game of Thrones guys where do

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you think they learn their tricks. so yeah I'll toot my own horn toot toot

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and I'll toot it better than that hack Louis Armstrong .yeah well you know what [man blows on trumpet]

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else I can do better than Louis? slay monsters. yeah well to be fair Louie has

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never tried that. but still. well King Hrothgar of the Danes knew who to call

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to deal with his little monster problem. well he was having a terrible time with

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this demon monster thing named Grendel. well Grendel was a real tough customer [monster pictured]

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this thing liked to rip people apart and eat them. definitely not the kind of guy

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you'd invite to a picnic. now unless you wanted to end up on the menu there. now

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froth gar and his fellow Danes knew anything about monster slaying well none [king reads a book]

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of this would have been a big deal but they didn't. losers. lucky for them I

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Beowulf the greatest hero of all time showed up with a squad of my fellow

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gigot's. no I owed for Hrothgar favor because

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way back when he helped my pops out of a scrape. the next time Grendel came around

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I took him out. and I did it without any weapons. no sword no shield. nothin. I

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wrestled Grendel barehanded and ripped off his arm. why well because I knew it [man pulls off monster arm]

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it look way cool or in the inevitable movie version of my life. spoiler alert. I

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was right. so Grendel ran off into the woods bled out and died. let's hope he

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wasn't an endangered species or anything. to celebrate my victory we had a huge

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party in Heorot, Hrothgar's mead-hall we partied like it was 9. and you know [people drink beer]

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went until we passed out. and I turned off all my alarms. well nothing was

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standing between sleep and me. well nothing but Grendel's demon mom

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who showed up and attacked us during the night. well let me tell you something,

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nothing wakes you up faster than a terrifying demon mom. seriously forget [man in front of several cups of coffee]

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coffee try demon mom. turns out she was little upset about me dismembering her

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baby boy. go figure. we managed to scare her off but we

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figured it was best to go ahead and nip this new problem in the bud so we

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tracked her to her secret lair which happened to be a cave under a lake. I'm

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guessing it was never featured in good cavekeeping. well once again was up to [monster in lair]

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old Beowulf to take care of the problem so I swam down to her moldy cave grabbed

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a sword from her pile of treasure and well kill her. no big deal even if her

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poisonous demon blood did melt the sword. and yeah I guess it's not good form [sword disappears]

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to kill someone in their home but you know you know manners not really my

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thing. after that well it was finally time to head home to Gatland where

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eventually I ended up being king, because have you been listening I'm awesome.

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things were cool for 50 years until a thief woke up a local dragon by trying [man snatches cup]

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to steal a cup of coffee from the Dragon's Lair. dragons are major hoarders

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and they don't take kindly to people taking their stuff. so the dragon did its

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dragon thing and burned down tons of villages. yeah hello Game of Thrones

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theme everyone was like go kill the dragon you stud. so I took 11 of my best [woman talks to man with crown]

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guys and went to kill the thing. well turns out these guys weren't nearly as

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awesome as I thought. they saw the dragon and all but one ran away. come on guys

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even Louie Armstrong I would have been more useful! well I ended up killing the

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dragon anyway but I was wounded in the process and that's how I Beowulf the [man falls down]

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bestest handsomest funniest smartest and humblest guy to ever have live, died. yeah

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they built me a huge funeral mound full of treasure which was nice and to be

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honest being killed slaying a literal dragon well that's a way to go. yeah that [man pictured with dragon]

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works beat that Louie Armstrong.

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