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CAHSEE Writing: Revision Drill, Problem 4. What is the best way to revise sentence 6?
CAHSEE Writing: Revision Drill, Problem 3. Which of the following would improve the essay as a whole?
CAHSEE Writing: Revision Drill, Problem 2. Where would be the best place to put the following sentence?
CAHSEE ELA 1.3 Writing: Revision 189 Views
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Description:
CAHSEE Writing: Revision Drill, Problem 3. Which of the following would improve the essay as a whole?
Transcript
- 00:03
The Wizard tells us you came here looking for an unshmoopy question...
- 00:08
Hit pause, look over this passage, and then have at it...
- 00:16
Which of the following would improve the essay as a whole?
- 00:18
And here are the potential answers:
- 00:24
Okay, no way to approach this one other than to look at each answer choice individually...
Full Transcript
- 00:29
Let's start with A... "using the pronoun "he" less frequently."
- 00:35
Not a bad idea. When you write an essay, you want to mix things up so it doesn't get
- 00:39
dry and repetitive.
- 00:41
Continually using the same pronoun over... and over... and over... and over...
- 00:47
What about B... "combining sentence 4 and 5"?
- 00:50
Honestly, each of these sentences is long enough on its own. There are no prizes for
- 00:54
longest sentence, unfortunately. C suggests we "revise sentence 7."
- 01:04
Um... why, exactly? It says something substantial, is written intelligently, isn't too over
- 01:09
the top and doesn't repeat anything else in the passage.
- 01:12
If it ain't broke, don't rewrite it. Finally, D wants us to "use Franklin Delano
- 01:17
Roosevelt in every sentence."
- 01:19
That's an awful idea. First of all, FDR hated being used.
- 01:22
Second... we'd have the same problem we have with all those "he"s, except now...
- 01:28
it's longer. A is our guy.
- 01:30
As in, "All work and no play..."
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