Newbie, $500 or less a year.

How did you manage to misspell that clue? Readers are out for blood. Hopefully they don't know your address, though the flaming bag of dog feces on your porch says otherwise....

Writing for fun, less than $1000 a year.

It's been a while since one of your puzzles was accepted. But you are getting good feedback, like: "Please avoid complicated jargon like Acanthamoeba." "Guinea worms are found mostly in Africa, not in New Guinea." And, "Enough with the parasite themes, I'm getting nightmares."

One of the regulars, $2000 a year.

Who would have thought that you'd write your best puzzle on the subway? Too bad you forgot it on the subway, too.

Big Hitter, $5000 a year.

Oh, joy—your puzzle is going to be featured in the Sunday Times. You've hit the big time.

Crossword Legend, $10,000 or more a year.

What's nicer than having one puzzle published? Having your very own crossword website, a couple bestselling books, and thousands of devoted followers hanging on your every clue. And yes, you would be happy to sign an autograph. Anything for a fan.