Green Greenskeeper. Salary: $8.00 per hour 

You grew up in an apartment, so you're still learning how to use the lawn tools. The good news is you're having fun playing with all this cool equipment. The bad news is you'll know everything you need to know about it within the next twenty minutes, and that childish new-toy glee will wear off. Oh, and you make minimum wage.

Putt-Putt Greenskeeper. Salary: $8.50 per hour 

There were no openings at the local golf course, so you sacrificed fifty cents per hour to handle the grass at the putt-putt course instead. It's fun mowing around some of the more inventive ball traps—the giant chomping alligator head comes to mind—but you can't help but think you'd have to stop the machine to pick up discarded colored balls far less often at a real course.

Greenskeeper. Salary: $9.00 per hour 

You spend your days chopping grass, cutting vines, killing weeds...pretty much all the things that'll make Mother Nature hate you. You don't mind risking her wrath; for you, there's nothing better in life than working outside on your own time. At least that's what you tell yourself when the rent comes due.

Supervising Greenskeeper. Salary: $11.00 per hour 

You're not just any greenskeeper—you're the head of the team. Okay, so it's a team of two, but Joe takes his orders from you and not the other way around. Sure, you still have to work just as much as you did before, and there wasn't exactly a large raise that came with the title, but your situation is a little better than it was before.

Keeper of Greenskeepers. Salary: $15.00 per hour 

Your daughter keeps telling you she can get you a higher paying job as a shift leader at her Starbucks, but you won't have it. There's a top to every ladder, and you've reached the top of yours. The other greenskeepers look up to you. The grass fears you. So what if you've never owned a car produced after 1983? This is your life, and you've earned it.