You took two rabbits into your seventh-grade health education class to…demonstrate. The kids seemed okay with it, if a bit confused. The school Board of Education was less okay with it. You're sacked.

The kids in your health class love you, but the parents can't seem to accept the fact that their babies are growing up. You've had 17 meetings with indignant parents in the past three days alone. And you thought you'd spend your time with kids....

Great news: A recent poll in the community shows that rates of STIs are way, way down. Bad news: So is funding. Time for a phone-a-thon to beg wealthy donors for more money.

You're a foremost expert in the field of human sexuality, and recently published an award-winning book, tentatively titled Resize through Sexercise: The Comprehensive Guide to a More Active Sexuality.

Just four months after being hired by the U.S. Department of Education to spearhead a radical new sub-department on national sexual health, you've made HIV/AIDS a thing of the past. Your grandchildren will think of HIV in the same way that you think of the plague.