Enter Hero and two gentlewomen, Margaret and Ursula. HERO
Good Margaret, run thee to the parlor.
There shalt thou find my cousin Beatrice
Proposing with the Prince and Claudio.
Whisper her ear and tell her I and Ursula
Walk in the orchard, and our whole discourse 5
Is all of her. Say that thou overheardst us,
And bid her steal into the pleachèd bower
Where honeysuckles ripened by the sun
Forbid the sun to enter, like favorites,
Made proud by princes, that advance their pride 10
Against that power that bred it. There will she hide
her
To listen our propose. This is thy office.
Bear thee well in it, and leave us alone. MARGARET
I’ll make her come, I warrant you, presently. 15 She exits. | Hero gets the wheels turning on her part of Don Pedro’s scheme. She asks Margaret to lure Beatrice to the garden by saying that Hero and Ursula are talking about her, and Beatrice should listen in on their secret conference. Hero plans to praise all of Benedick’s virtues, and insist that Benedick is desperately in love with Beatrice. Sound familiar? |
HERO
Now, Ursula, when Beatrice doth come,
As we do trace this alley up and down,
Our talk must only be of Benedick.
When I do name him, let it be thy part
To praise him more than ever man did merit. 20
My talk to thee must be how Benedick
Is sick in love with Beatrice. Of this matter
Is little Cupid’s crafty arrow made,
That only wounds by hearsay. Now begin,
For look where Beatrice like a lapwing runs 25
Close by the ground, to hear our conference. Enter Beatrice, who hides in the bower. URSULA, aside to Hero
The pleasant’st angling is to see the fish
Cut with her golden oars the silver stream
And greedily devour the treacherous bait.
So angle we for Beatrice, who even now 30
Is couchèd in the woodbine coverture.
Fear you not my part of the dialogue. HERO, aside to Ursula
Then go we near her, that her ear lose nothing
Of the false sweet bait that we lay for it.—
They walk near the bower.
No, truly, Ursula, she is too disdainful. 35
I know her spirits are as coy and wild
As haggards of the rock. URSULA But are you sure
That Benedick loves Beatrice so entirely? HERO
So says the Prince and my new-trothèd lord. 40 URSULA
And did they bid you tell her of it, madam? HERO
They did entreat me to acquaint her of it,
But I persuaded them, if they loved Benedick,
To wish him wrestle with affection
And never to let Beatrice know of it. 45 URSULA
Why did you so? Doth not the gentleman
Deserve as full as fortunate a bed
As ever Beatrice shall couch upon? HERO
O god of love! I know he doth deserve
As much as may be yielded to a man, 50
But Nature never framed a woman’s heart
Of prouder stuff than that of Beatrice.
Disdain and scorn ride sparkling in her eyes,
Misprizing what they look on, and her wit
Values itself so highly that to her 55
All matter else seems weak. She cannot love,
Nor take no shape nor project of affection,
She is so self-endeared. URSULA Sure, I think so,
And therefore certainly it were not good 60
She knew his love, lest she’ll make sport at it. | The scheme is put into action. Beatrice enters in a sneaky way, but Hero and Ursula see her just the same. They use the same metaphor the men did, about angling for a fish and getting it to take the bait. They walk a little closer to Beatrice to make sure she can hear them and then get to work, talking of the "new news" from Claudio and Don Pedro: Benedick is in love with Beatrice. Hero says that when the guys told her of Benedick’s love, they asked that she tell Beatrice about it. However, Hero says she thinks it best for Benedick to keep his love to himself and get over it, because he has no chance of making it with Beatrice. Hero then lights into Beatrice’s flaws, calling the girl proud, disdainful, scornful, and too in love with her own wit to love any man. Ursula agrees, saying that if Beatrice found out about Benedick’s love, it would only become the source of infinite jokes for her. |
HERO
Why, you speak truth. I never yet saw man,
How wise, how noble, young, how rarely featured,
But she would spell him backward. If fair-faced,
She would swear the gentleman should be her 65
sister;
If black, why, Nature, drawing of an antic,
Made a foul blot; if tall, a lance ill-headed;
If low, an agate very vilely cut;
If speaking, why, a vane blown with all winds; 70
If silent, why, a block moved with none.
So turns she every man the wrong side out,
And never gives to truth and virtue that
Which simpleness and merit purchaseth. URSULA
Sure, sure, such carping is not commendable. 75 HERO
No, not to be so odd and from all fashions
As Beatrice is cannot be commendable.
But who dare tell her so? If I should speak,
She would mock me into air. O, she would laugh
me 80
Out of myself, press me to death with wit.
Therefore let Benedick, like covered fire,
Consume away in sighs, waste inwardly.
It were a better death than die with mocks,
Which is as bad as die with tickling. 85 | They go on to say that Beatrice has a knack for finding faults in even the best of men; she can never simply see the goodness in her suitors. The thing is, as horribly as Beatrice acts, no one dares to tell her. If anyone tried to, she'd rip them to shreds. That's why Hero thinks it's best to to just let Benedick tire himself out pining for her. |
URSULA
Yet tell her of it. Hear what she will say. HERO
No, rather I will go to Benedick
And counsel him to fight against his passion;
And truly I’ll devise some honest slanders
To stain my cousin with. One doth not know 90
How much an ill word may empoison liking. URSULA
O, do not do your cousin such a wrong!
She cannot be so much without true judgment,
Having so swift and excellent a wit
As she is prized to have, as to refuse 95
So rare a gentleman as Signior Benedick. HERO
He is the only man of Italy,
Always excepted my dear Claudio. URSULA
I pray you be not angry with me, madam,
Speaking my fancy: Signior Benedick, 100
For shape, for bearing, argument, and valor,
Goes foremost in report through Italy. HERO
Indeed, he hath an excellent good name. URSULA
His excellence did earn it ere he had it.
When are you married, madam? 105 HERO
Why, every day, tomorrow. Come, go in.
I’ll show thee some attires and have thy counsel
Which is the best to furnish me tomorrow.
They move away from the bower. URSULA, aside to Hero
She’s limed, I warrant you. We have caught her,
madam. 110 HERO, aside to Ursula
If it prove so, then loving goes by haps;
Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps. Hero and Ursula exit. | Ursula reconsiders. Maybe they should tell Beatrice. No way, says Hero. In fact, she's going to help Benedick get over Beatrice. She'll tell him some unflattering lies about Beatrice to make him look at her less favorably. Ursula laments what a shame it would be for Beatrice, who seems so smart, to be so stupid as to let a great catch like Benedick get away. He's wonderful. (How wonderful is he?) He's so wonderful that Hero declares him to be the most desirable bachelor in all of Italy, aside from Claudio of course. Ursula says actually...he's so fit, brave, smart, and handsome that he beats out Claudio, too. Hero agrees he's pretty great, and the ladies transition into talking about Hero's wedding that will happen tomorrow. The ladies, out of earshot of Beatrice, gloat over what a fine job they’ve done. They’re sure they’ve caught Beatrice in the "loving Benedick" trap. |
BEATRICE, coming forward
What fire is in mine ears? Can this be true?
Stand I condemned for pride and scorn so much?
Contempt, farewell, and maiden pride, adieu! 115
No glory lives behind the back of such.
And Benedick, love on; I will requite thee,
Taming my wild heart to thy loving hand.
If thou dost love, my kindness shall incite thee
To bind our loves up in a holy band. 120
For others say thou dost deserve, and I
Believe it better than reportingly. She exits. | Beatrice, now alone, comes out of her hiding place. She doesn't seem all that surprised that Benedick loves her, but she is pretty hurt that her friends condemned her for being so proud. She declares she’ll put her bad attitude behind her, and give herself over to Benedick. If he loves her too, they’ll get married, in spite of all the nasty things they’ve both said about marriage. |