Power
Hungry after an exhausting family meeting with Michelle and the kids, President Barack Obama walks into an adorable Washington, D.C., bakery. Just one heavenly bite of the sumptuous, perfectly flaky almond croissant later, Obama realizes the baker's prodigal powers of baking, and hires him on the spot to lead a new covert operation using baked goods to bribe senior officials across the world.
Dream on, bakers. Unless world priorities shift dramatically in the next couple years, you'll never be a particularly powerful group. Can you imagine what would happen if G-8 summits became debates about the relative merits of spelt versus wheat flour? It might sound interesting (to you, and even then, only maybe). But it just doesn't sound likely, does it? Sigh.