5% First Day on the Job. Pay: $14.50/hour
Your first day on the job and you give out your real name and the address of the building where you work to a very disgruntled customer. He then gets in his car, finds your office's parking lot, and slashes everyone's tires for cancelling his cable in the middle of the Super Bowl.

25% First Month on the Job. Pay: $14.50/hour
Celebrating your first month on the job, your co-workers take you out to lunch at the place around the corner. You revel in the fact that you were able to withstand being called bad names for this long without ever losing your cool. You brag about how many computer illiterate people you've dealt with and placed orders from. You feel great about how patient you are.

50% First Year on the Job. Pay: $14.65/hour
It's your one year anniversary as a customer service representative from Shmoops R Us. For one full year you have been called bad names and have had to teach people how to order online, but you've also helped a bunch of people, a few who have even said thank you.

75% Five Years in. Pay: $17/hour
You've stuck it out. Five years down the road, and you're already one of the oldest people in the office. You're hoping to manage someday. The pinnacle of the last couple years was helping Justin Bieber return a mink-lined microphone. Unfortunately, you bragged about it online and got Bieber in trouble with Peta. He gets you fired the next day. Hey, it was fun while it lasted.

95% Celebrating Your Ten-Year Anniversary on the Job. Pay: $19.50/hour
Congratulations. You've actually been at the same customer service job for an entire decade, the longest any employee at the company has ever lasted. The boss gives you a party and puts your picture on the wall as the first official "Employee of the Year." He also gives you a hundred dollar bonus and one vacation day, topped off with a cupcake. You are elated. It just doesn't get any better than this.