Typical Day
"Good morning listeners, it's 6:00AM on another magical Monday morning. Now, your weather report." As today's forecast spills out of the radio, Alice climbs gently out of bed and into her day. It's going to be partly cloudy, with a chance of thunderstorms overnight. Alice begins every day with the weather. As a seasoned game warden, she's learned that the kind of day it'll be depends very much on whether it rains or shines. And Alice likes to plan ahead.
After sharing a quick breakfast with her husband, she heads to the state-issued County Fish & Game Department SUV sitting at the end of her long dirt driveway. She pulls out at 7:00AM and heads into town. First stop of the day: Dunkin' Donuts for some coffee. And who is she kidding, probably a donut too.
Before heading in to the station house, she drives by the closest campsite to check for any violations following a long holiday weekend. During hunting season in her state only certain days of the week are fair game for hunting game, so she wants to make sure all of the hunters have cleared out by now. Around 8:20AM, having found no sign of any stragglers, she leaves the campground.
Alice arrives at the station house around 9:10AM and says "Hey" to George, another game warden, and Sharon, the volunteer switchboard operator. Jim would usually be here too, but today the poor guy is on bird duty―it's migration season, and he's out logging data with the bird scientists.
She's only stopping in to catch up on any overnight information she missed. Sometimes night poachers try to get illegal game during the wee hours of the morning. No Bigfoot reports from the night before either, which is a nice change of pace.
Alice spends her morning repeating her campground visits around the county. As always, she has her first-aid kit, a survival pack, and her trusty sidearm. It's not that she expects any trouble, she's just there to let any big bad lawbreaking hunter know she's watching. A big part of her job is showing ne're-do-wells that she's out there, enforcing all the wildlife and hunting laws that her state and county saw fit to enact.
The only real trouble occurs at 10:45AM, when a self-important deer hunter decides to give her an earful about his God-given rights to hunt whenever and wherever he wants. It's not that she doesn't agree with some of his (incredibly loud and rambling) points, but her job isn't to write the laws, it's to enforce them; today that means escorting Sir Yellsalot out of the campgrounds. The natural order and beauty of the forest restored, Alice heads back to the station around 12:30PM.
After a lunch of grilled cheese and sliced apples (Alice is a vegetarian), it's showtime. A local Boy Scout troop is coming in for a field trip. Since Jim is out with the birds and George did the last presentation a couple weeks ago, today Alice pulls the short straw. The kids show up around 2:15PM, and she spends the next hour-and-a-half teaching fifteen bored 12-year-old boys the ins and outs of protecting wildlife:
"Are the animals nice?"
"Yes."
"Have you ever shot anyone?"
"No."
"Have you ever rescued anyone?"
"Actually, a few times." Suddenly, the room is alive with interest. Alice then tells the tale of how she rescued two hikers lost in the woods in the dead of night, on Halloween (it was actually October 29th, but the story's more interesting with some added spookiness).
The scouts say their goodbye in unison and depart, each boy imagining himself a lifesaving game warden. At 4:15PM when it's Alice's turn to leave, she still has the smile on her face. She's not the biggest fan of kids, but she doesn't mind feeling like a hero from time to time. Back at home, lying on the couch, she drifts off to sleep.
Her husband wakes her around 7:00PM because her phone is ringing. He didn't disturb her when he got home; he knows odds are good she could still have a long night ahead, and he doesn't want to be the one to rob her of the extra sleep. He knows what happens when he does.
Good thing he did too, because Alice is being called back into action. A trespasser has been reported at one of the campgrounds and she has to head out and answer the call. By 7:30PM, she's fully alert and rolling into the campground. Up ahead she sees a car with its lights pointed into the forest. Alice hits the flashing lights on the SUV and transforms from easy-going Boy Scout teacher to confident officer of the law. Pulling up next to the vehicle, she sees hunting gear but no hunter. After calling it in, and calling for backup, she scans the woods for signs of human life.
There's movement to her left. A large figure carrying something heavy stumbles out of the woods. She draws her weapon. "County Game Warden, drop what you're carrying and put your hands over your head."
The figure stops moving, and the tension is as thick as the fog rolling in. A moment later, the man drops what he's carrying and puts his arms up, and Alice moves in. Turns out her friend Sir Yellsalot from earlier came back to get himself that prize deer. Too bad for him—he messed with the wrong game warden. By 8:15PM, the hunter-turned-poacher is behind bars, and Alice is doing every officer's least favorite job: the paperwork.
10:00PM and Alice is finally done for the day. Careful not to disturb her husband, she climbs into bed and snuggles close. Who knows when the phone will ring again, pulling her out of bed and forcing her to answer the call of the wild?