Inspection Trainee. Salary: $40,000 or less 

Your training inspector calls you over to the restaurant's walk-in refrigerator. He tells you to "smell this" unknown substance to see if you think it's okay. You take a deep breath, and the unnatural odor almost makes you vomit. You say it smells so bad someone had to have made it on purpose, and you're right—both your boss and the manager are in on the joke. Should've seen that one coming, newbie.

Novice Health and Safety Inspector. Salary: $55,000 

Chip, the supervisor of a small motel just off the freeway, takes you to a sample room, which looks pristine, well-kept and...slightly out of place. As you close the door behind you, the door on the next room down swings open, and a parade of cockroaches files out. You turn to Chip and ask if they're paid through the week. It's an old joke, but you're still proud of it. Chip is less amused.

Experienced Health and Safety Inspector. Salary: $65,000 

At the beginning of your gym inspection, you find an overly muscled man with a very small tie sitting in the manager's office. He looks you over and says that he can point out all your faults and make them better. Funny, you say, I'm actually here to do that to you. The manager notices the clipboard, and you can actually see his buff attitude deflating.

Inspection Specialist. Salary: $75,000 

Looking over the blueprints, you notice that the fire exits are about a hundred feet too far apart. Since ergonomics is your specialty, you consider how to compensate for this error. In a stroke of genius, you run for your red pen; you love drawing fire hoses.

Safety Consultant. Salary $95,000 

After concluding your motivational presentation, you walk offstage to a rousing applause. When you emerge from the wings, a crowd gathers around you, forming a semicircle of respect and inspiration. You answer all their questions about your safety methods; after all, these people paid to be here.