ShmoopTube

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Apollo, a la Shmoop.

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Oh, hey guys. My name is Apollo, and I’m here to tell you about...um...

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Gods, I don’t even remember what I’m supposed to be talking about.

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I guess I’ve been a little bummed lately, you know?

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The girl I love can never be mine.

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I’m sure you’re thinking… how could Apollo be so lovesick?

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He’s one of the most popular gods.

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Not only is he the god of light...

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...he’s the god of music and prophecy.

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He’s got everything going for him.

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What girl…mortal or immortal… would ever say no to him?

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Well, folks, the sad fact is that the girl I love is no girl at all.

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I’m actually in love with this tree.

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OK, that probably sounded weird. Allow me to explain....

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This laurel tree was once a beautiful nymph named Daphne <<DAFF-knee>>.

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She was the daughter of the river god Peneus <<puh-KNEE-iss>>,

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and she lived a perfect life with her dad and sister nymphs.

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Her life was perfect… at least until I came along.

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See, I used to be pretty full of myself.

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I had reason to be.

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But too much pride can bring anybody down.

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Even a god.

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It all turned bad for me on the day I slew the vicious Python.

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I can’t say I feel bad for killing that thing, even if it was an endangered species.

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After all, it had tried to eat my mother while she was pregnant

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with my twin sister Artemis <<AR-tuh-miss>> and me.

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Afterwards, I ran into Cupid and started bragging how awesome a bowman I was,

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and that I was better than him...yada yada yada…

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Suffice it to say, Cupid did not take it well.

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To get me back, he struck me with one of his golden arrows,

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cursing me to fall in love with the next person I saw.

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As I’m sure you’ve already guessed, the next person I saw was the gorgeous Daphne.

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You might be thinking, what’s so bad about falling in love with a beautiful nymph?

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You ever watch The Bachelor?

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The thing is that Cupid also struck Daphne with a lead-tipped arrow

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that made her never want to love anybody at all.

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Next thing I know, I’m chasing her through the woods like a major creeper.

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It was crazy. One moment I was on top of the world, and the next I’m a stalker extraordinaire.

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Poor Daphne was terrified and called out to her father, begging for help.

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For some unknown reason, Peneus decided the only way to help

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his daughter was to turn her into a laurel tree.

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I felt super bad about everything, and I did what I could to make it better.

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I used my godly powers to make the laurel forever green.

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To remember her, I always wear a wreath of laurel leaves in my hair.

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It’s just not enough, though, guys. This laurel wreath can never replace her.

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Even though she’s made of wood, my heart still beats for her.

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If only Peneus had turned my heart into wood as well…

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