ShmoopTube

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Hera, a la Shmoop.

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Hello, little mortal people. For most of you,

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I'm sure I need no introduction. But for those pathetic few who aren't aware of my

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magnificence, I am Hera, Queen of the Gods.

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Normally, I wouldn't deign to sit for one these...what do you call them...?

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Ah...videos. I am told that the interweb is the best way to reach you people these days.

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I'm sure this will go virulent....

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Oh, I meant viral, of course.

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I'm sure that this video will go viral and finally set the record straight.

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Now, it has come to my attention that the prevailing opinion of me is quite negative.

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Rather than the good work I've done as the goddess of marriage,

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I'm known as an awful, vengeful shrew.

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I will admit that I've taken some rather extreme actions in the past.

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Yes, it's true I tried to stop that tramp, Leto, from giving birth to Apollo and Artemis.

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And yes, I did send Python, that snaky-dragon to devour her.

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And yes, I did send a gadfly to sting that heifer, Io, when she was

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wandering the world in the form of a cow.

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I also tricked that trollop Semele <<SEM-uh-lee>> into asking Zeus to reveal himself in his

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true form, which... happens to be lightning...

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...and which just so happened to completely obliterate every inch of her body while she

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was pregnant with Dionysus. <<DIE-oh-NIGH-sis>>

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You know what I have to say to all these things...

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Give me a close up here...

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SO WHAT? Each and every one of those little hussies

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got what they deserved, because each and every one of them

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was sleeping around with my husband, Zeus.

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If you don't believe me, I have the pictures to prove it.

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I'm the goddess of marriage, for gods-sake...

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...do you know how embarrassing that my

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own marriage is a total sham?!

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What am I? Some kinda joke? I'm supposed to just smile and let this stuff go down?

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People are always criticizing me for harassing Zeus's illegitimate children too.

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Like Heracles, everybody's favorite hero blahblahblah...

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...whom I harassed while he was doing his 12 Labors, which...

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...he had to do because I caused him to go crazy

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and kill his kids.

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People say, "Hera, why do take your anger out on Zeus's lovers and kids, when it was

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him that's continually unfaithful. Isn't he the real problem, here?'

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What can I do, though? The bonehead is all powerful.

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I'm just a gal living in a fascist, patriarchal, male-dominated society.

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People may try to paint me as the villain, but I'm not. I put the "Hera" in heroine.

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I'm a freedom fighter, if you will.

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I'm here to tell all you ladies out there that you don't have to put up with it any more.

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The revolution starts today... and it will be televised.

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